Now that the 2017-18 NBA season has eked pasts its quarter-pole mark, rumor has it we’re free to hand out report grades for every team. So, ya know, let’s do that.

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Hardwood Knocks already tackled the Western Conference, which you can, and should, and must, listen to here. Now it’s on to the Eastern Conference—but not before we react to the Philadelphia 76ers trading Jahlil Okafor and Nik Stauskas to the Brooklyn Nets for Trevor Booker.

All 15 squads are covered—in random order—so you needn’t worry about us leaving anyone out. Among the most pressing questions: Do the Boston Celtics deserve perfect marks? Who among the Charlotte Hornets, Miami Heat and Washington Wizards gets a failing grade? Is the Cleveland Cavaliers’ recent tear a harbinger of things to come or merely a protracted blip on the radar?

Should the New York Knicks get a favorable grade for hovering around .500? How about the Indiana Pacers? Are the Milwaukee Bucks the biggest underachievers in the conference? Have the Orlando Magic screwed themselves during their latest nosedive? Do the Toronto Raptors warrant—gasp—a Celtics-esque grade? Are there silver linings to plumb for the tanking Atlanta Hawks and Chicago Bulls?

All this, plus much more, awaits you in Hardwood Knocks’ latest. So grab your favorite beverage and flavor of Doritos, strap in and open your minds. Because the #takez, they are a coming!